Wednesday, 11 March 2009

Enduring Love

To My Little Girl,
I'm sure you must think that I use the expressions "Driving me up the wall", "Tearing my hair out" and "This is your last warning" all too often. But if you're ever in doubt of how I really feel, this post is for you.

I study you when you don't know it and one of my favourite pastimes is to watch you absent-mindedly pulling the satin edge of your Moo Cow blanket back and forth through your fingers. You've done it since you were eight months old and I never tire of watching you do it.

All is instantly forgiven when you offer me a hug and kiss to "make it better" because I told you I'm tired from you waking me in the middle of the night.

I literally puff up with pride when we're having one of our conversations where you listen intently to every word. I swear I can almost see the cogs in your head going round as you struggle to recall a word you learnt recently and then your sense of achievement is plastered across your face as you see my grin that confirms you are a genius!

One of the best images that I store of you is the one where you're sat in the bath and you turn to me with a smile on your face, in the midst of one of your imaginary games. Your cheeks are all rosy, your hair is plastered in tendrils around your face and I can properly see your eyes dancing because you're not wearing your glasses. 

You make me realise how quickly you learn when I see you mouthing along with the words to Moon River, one of your three "must have" bedtime songs. I once told you that it was from my favourite film and now you always refer to it as the Breakfast At Tiffany's song. After this you insist that I sing Away In A Manger even though it's not Christmas anymore and I oblige because I can't resist you when you look up at me with those big blue eyes.

In the early hours when you've come in and dragged Daddy off to the bathroom cos you "need a wee", I listen to you whispering to him about all kinds of important things that plague the mind of a nearly four year old in the middle of the night. Then I prop myself up on my pillow to watch your sleepy silhouette go padding back past our door to your room.  

Next month you'll be four years old and this autumn you start school. Being a mum is one of the hardest things I've ever done but it's also one of the most rewarding. I know we're only just starting our journey together and there's a whole load of stuff we've yet to experience but I can't believe how far we've come.   


Tara@Sticky Fingers said...

Aww, that is so lovely.
I think girls make it really tough on their mums because they know in the long run it makes them love them all the more.

I should tell you also that when I read your last post I had to run and hide. Cupcakes! Lovely lovely cupcakes, how could you. I couldn't even bring myself to comment.
Actually, the truth of the matter is I thought I had commented but I'd actually clicked through to look at the lovely lovely cupcakes and forgot to come back I was so busy mooning over them!

Home Office Mum said...

That's lovely. I needed to read that this morning to remind me of the joys of having children as mine have driven me stir crazy today and it's only 7am!

Banana said...

What a beautiful post - it made me cry. As mums it's often the little things that we remember that are so special. There are so many children who don't have a mum, are separated from them or who have one who doesn't love them. I realise how lucky I am to be a mum and how I should cherish every moment, even the middle of the night wake-ups and the whingy moments in the supermarket. Some people would love to have those moments, just to be with their children.

Anonymous said...

You are very lucky - and I am so glad you're enjoying it.

Hope I have to chance one day!

Anonymous said...

I'm welling up here! What a moving post by a very proud mum x

lunarossa said...

What a beautiful way to express your love for your daughter! Hold her and kiss her as much as you can as they grow so fast. Mine was a baby yesterday and today she' 9 and all independent!!! All the best. Ciao. Antonella

notSupermum said...

What a lovely post. I agree with Antonella, treasure these moments because before you know it she'll be borrowing your shoes.

that girl? said...

Tara - Good theory! I will remember it and repeat when times get tough! And I totally understand re the cupcakes... I have to not look at them... especially at this time of day!
HMO - Small Child was up at 6.00 this morning instead of seven complaining about the chink of light around the blackout blind! There are somethings a mother just cant fix!
Banana - Thank you for your lovely comment. I know what you mean - when things get tough you have to stop and remind yourself how lucky you are to have this little person tagging along for the ride.
Mud - I hope you do too... it's a crazy ride thats for sure. Bit like that scene from Parenthood when Steve Martin thinks he's on a roller coaster.
Rosie - From one proud mum to another me thinks!
Antonella - Thank you! I try to squeeze her for as long as she'll keep still these days. She's getting quite good at squeezing back too!
NSM - She can borrow my shoes one day but not the Choo's! Those will be an inheritance!

The Dotterel said...

It all goes much too quickly. I'm really lucky to be at home at the moment watching Charlie daily. Makes all the filthy nappies worthwhile.

auntiegwen said...

That love never dilutes, you still feel it and one day you will look up into your daughters face and you will still see traces of her 4 year old self and that never ceases to amaze me

Tawny said...

That is lovely, I am sure your daughter will love to read that when she is older.

Kimberly said...

Aww, what a wonderful mother you must be to realize so much so soon.