To My Little Girl,
I'm sure you must think that I use the expressions "Driving me up the wall", "Tearing my hair out" and "This is your last warning" all too often. But if you're ever in doubt of how I really feel, this post is for you.
I study you when you don't know it and one of my favourite pastimes is to watch you absent-mindedly pulling the satin edge of your Moo Cow blanket back and forth through your fingers. You've done it since you were eight months old and I never tire of watching you do it.
All is instantly forgiven when you offer me a hug and kiss to "make it better" because I told you I'm tired from you waking me in the middle of the night.
I literally puff up with pride when we're having one of our conversations where you listen intently to every word. I swear I can almost see the cogs in your head going round as you struggle to recall a word you learnt recently and then your sense of achievement is plastered across your face as you see my grin that confirms you are a genius!
One of the best images that I store of you is the one where you're sat in the bath and you turn to me with a smile on your face, in the midst of one of your imaginary games. Your cheeks are all rosy, your hair is plastered in tendrils around your face and I can properly see your eyes dancing because you're not wearing your glasses.
You make me realise how quickly you learn when I see you mouthing along with the words to Moon River, one of your three "must have" bedtime songs. I once told you that it was from my favourite film and now you always refer to it as the Breakfast At Tiffany's song. After this you insist that I sing Away In A Manger even though it's not Christmas anymore and I oblige because I can't resist you when you look up at me with those big blue eyes.
In the early hours when you've come in and dragged Daddy off to the bathroom cos you "need a wee", I listen to you whispering to him about all kinds of important things that plague the mind of a nearly four year old in the middle of the night. Then I prop myself up on my pillow to watch your sleepy silhouette go padding back past our door to your room.
Next month you'll be four years old and this autumn you start school. Being a mum is one of the hardest things I've ever done but it's also one of the most rewarding. I know we're only just starting our journey together and there's a whole load of stuff we've yet to experience but I can't believe how far we've come.