Tuesday, 13 January 2009

Just So You Know... This Is Not A Date

Such are the immortal words uttered by Other Half just over six years ago, having agreed to go for dinner upon receiving my email which simply contained those other immortal words... "I miss us". I can't remember if he said it in his response, over the phone, on the night, or all three but such was the underlying tone that it could have been in capital letters, bold and very large font! 

Having agreed to go to his local gastro pub and been informed that I could "stay over if you want but you'll be in THE SPARE ROOM", off I set from my flat in the city to his house he'd bought on the edge of the forest. Don't be fooled by the jaunty, casual tone... none of it was being undertaken very lightly by either party. 

I was sick with nerves, anticipation and stomach twisting fear that he would tell me that hell would freeze over before he'd take me back. He was in full on defensive mode, an air of distance about him that I'd seen too many times when we'd bumped into each other at the office and there was that set of his jaw that tells you exactly what he's thinking without him having to say one word. I should add at this point that this was all very much as it should have been, seeing as I'd broken his heart in ways I only later found out; revelations that made me cry for the pain I'd caused him with the simple statement of "It's just not the right time for me".
Following his precise directions to the house he'd bought after we split up eighteen months previously, I arrived, still not knowing what words of wisdom I was going to follow up the now infamous email with.  

After a quick tour of his pad that included the very definite pointing out of "here's my room and here's THE SPARE ROOM where you'll be sleeping", we walked to the pub, both of us gagging for that first drink that might quieten our jangling nerves. I was also hoping it would soften his demeanor and give me the confidence to tell him that I loved him, that I'd made a huge mistake in letting him go and to ask him if we could try again; all of this without babbling, begging or sobbing into my starter.

As it turned out I think we possibly covered every other issue under the sun before he finally came out with "So what's this all about then?"  Seeing as he'd already made it abundantly clear that this definitely wasn't a date, I had no choice but to get on and try and put my innermost feelings into words. I don't remember exactly what I said except it was honest, from the heart and accompanied by a huge sense of relief at laying my cards on the table, knowing that I'd find out one way or the other whether he would be in my future. 

Well.... both you and I know how it turned out! Although... I will say that nothing was really resolved that night and we didn't officially declare that we were back on full force, until one week, numerous texts and a Chinese Take Out/Red Wine With Lots Of Snogging On My Sofa night later! 

I will also say that the non-date did end with me sleeping in THE SPARE ROOM, despite the fact that a lot of courage inducing alcohol was consumed and I was allowed a cuddle on the sofa as we listened to Nora Jones, albeit one with me pretty much kept at arms length! 

My forgiving, gentle, loving Other Half now regularly teases me that one day, he will tell Small Child how her strumpet mother, who callously and without thought had previously dumped him, then tried to seduce him by kissing him on the neck whilst standing at the top of stairs saying goodnight! 

Sorry babe.... this is my blog therefore I get to have the last word! I went to kiss you on the cheek and you turned away, leaving me with my lips attached firmly to somewhere in the region of your neck area! So, as non-dates go, I'd say it ended pretty well and if I'd have told you then that six years later we'd be married with a daughter, I dread to think what your response would have been!


Tara@Sticky Fingers said...

I absolutely LOVE this post That Girl!
I love hearing how people got together, and that tale is a doozy (or should that be floozy?)

Anyway, great post.

auntiegwen said...

I loved this !!!! My path of romance hasn't been exactly smooth either so I love to hear of how others got their happy ending. I am so happy after reading this, thank you.

My name is auntiegwen and I am addicted to mush, and I don't care who knows it !!!!

lunarossa said...

What a lovely story, brought tears to my eyes and a smile as well. Glad that all ended well. Wish a life long of happiness to you, your other half and your daughter. All the best. Ciao. Antonella

Leon Basin said...

Hey, how are you doing? Hope all is well.

that girl? said...

Tara - Definitely floozy according to OH! And I think you may be one of the few people who are able to get away with calling me a strumpet!
Auntie G - I share your addiction - its what makes the world go around! Mush lovers unite!
Lunarossa - Hello and welcome! Thank you for your kinds words and wishes! Does Lunarossa mean red moon or moon goddess? Ciao!
Leon - Thanks for dropping in! I'm feeling good today and hope that you and your many blogs are too!

Little Brown Book said...

What a fabulous post!

Just discovered your blog and am already hooked!


Yummy Mummy said...

What a great story. It warmed me up on this cold New England day.

I couldn't be happier that it all worked out, and you will have a great story to tell your little one after her first heartache. Some people do belong together....


Mom/Mum said...

I love love love this post!!! What a wonderful story and am so glad it has a happy end for you.
I have an award for you too but note that you have it already. Still, I want to give it to you, espeically after this post, which only confirms what a wonderful writer I think you are.

that girl? said...

LBB - Hi... nice to meet new bloggy folk! Glad you liked the post and I'm off over to check out what's in The Little Brown Book - I'm intrigued!
YM - I hope (against all odds of course!) that Small Child never gets her heart broken! Seeing as this is asking the impossible, I will hopefully be able to help her through it and make her believe in fairy tales!
Mom/Mum - You have made my day by calling me a wonderful writer! Glad you liked the post and thank you for my blingy award! A girl can never have too much bling... or too many lovely bloggy friends like all the ones I have met here! x

Anonymous said...

What a lovely story! You ahve brightened the start to my day.

There's hop for us all!


Anonymous said...

Goodness - only just re-read my comment. Apologies for the appalling spelling!!

Little Brown Book said...

Oh I don't know Mud in the City - I quite like the idea of there being 'hop for us all'! =)

That Girl - I'm doing some work with parent bloggers at the moment and would love to have a chat. Do drop me an email if you get chance =)

Boston Bride said...

LOVE the post! you have left me feeling inspired to share my own "love story". How people get together make the best stories...I too got a warm fuzzy feeling :)

that girl? said...

Mud - Don't worry... I put it down to jet lag from you r hop around the globe! I also thought you meant that you wold get the beers in!
LBB - Will get in touch!
Boston Bride - Glad to be your inspiration for the warm and fuzzy stuff and look forward to reading your story... as I said to Auntie Gwen - I have a mush addiction!

Iuri Guerrero said...

Hello my name is Iuri Guerrero. I much like make acquiantance. I very like your blog especially this, though it's not as great as mine. I don't find myself agreeing with your stupid sentiments! but it is funny to me and I think it's funny and amusing. I'm so open-minded, objective and love all peoples but only if you don't annoy or bore me though I'm really hypocrite! And me now is surfing couch and seek exotic exciting experiences and see many experiences around the world. I think I'm a modern hippie! like add you to my millions of friends to impress. I very like smoke the herb, surf the couch (meet many people so exciting just like at home!) and make love to everyone especially the men and pretty docile girls. Congratulations, I take time to read your post! you must be very grateful! love you, from Iuri Guerrero!

that girl? said...

Luri - Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to comment - I must say I like your somewhat unusual approach to making new blog friends! It's good that you don't agree with my sentiments as the world would be a bit boring if we were all in agreement; though as they are mine, lets not call them stupid eh? I hope you find lots of exciting experiences on your couch surfing, herb smoking journeys and if it impresses everyone you know to say Thatgirl39 is your newest blog friend then go right ahead and count me in! Congratulations to you to too as I did sneek a peek at your blogs... but think I still prefer mine!

Anonymous said...

I love that your story ended up the way it did for you and 'other half' after the many months apart and then the "spare room" night. It's great to know that when people really care about each other, sometimes they can patch things up.

that girl? said...

Gal in NYC - thank you! It is the happiest of endings and for a long while back there I really didn't believe in those!