Slight change of pace from all the party talk I know but.....I smell a rat! Actually I didn't smell him... I saw him bloody sunbathing on our deck. After imparting this information to Other Half, the only thing I actually can now smell is the onion-like fragrance of the natural rat deterrent powder liberally sprinkled about the garden. The stench is supposed to make them pack their rat bags and leave pronto...it doesn't work but it has put me off onions!
We've now had two visits from a very pleasant pest control chap from the council, who by the way, is possibly the tallest man I have ever seen. I wondered if he got the job because he's able to intimidate them into leaving with his giant stature? If that's the case then Ratty Ratterson must have a rather large set of kahunas cos he's still hanging with his homeys, possibly wearing a rat hoodie and swearing at passing field mice, despite the tasty poison-laced food that was left for him. The Tall Guy is due back this Thursday but will be getting his rat progress report via a note due to the impending celebrations. No rat is going to make me late for my own party!
Thinking about it, this is might be karma as a result of the now infamous rodent debacle from my childhood. Having rescued a mouse from the neighbours cat, I was firmly instructed to "put a bloody lid on that box" before MM went out that night. I forgot and it escaped, much to hers, my but not my little brothers horror. We presumed it had made like Elvis and left the building as nothing was ever seen or heard of it again..... until the midnight saucepan clanging incident some weeks later. Despite hastily shoving the neighbours cat in the kitchen and shutting the door, more clanging was heard the following night.
I knew I was in real trouble later in the wee small hours when MM yelled at me to "get in here now!". On arriving in her bedroom, I found her standing in the middle of their bed, hysterically pointing at the wiggling curtain whilst ringing my father who was on night shift. Needless to say by the time he got home there was no sign of the errant mouse and I was in deep Doo Doo!
As I sleepily went to the fridge the next morning to put away the milk used to make a conciliatory cup of tea, I caught sight of a pair of legs hanging down from some pipe housing. Having taken my turn to scream "Get here now", my father reassured me to stop panicking as it was clearly dead. Well you would be too if you'd crawled up between two hot water pipes, split your difference and got stuck there until the water heater came on in the morning! As dad's do, he fetched a pair of pliers to pull it out.... and it kept on coming, and coming...... and coming.
The mouse that I had rescued some weeks earlier turned out to be a baby rat; a rat that enjoyed it's childhood in our house and proceeded to grow to extreme proportions. This also explained why the dog had been getting thinner - small wonder when we discovered the pile of biscuits and food that had been stored away behind the dishwasher. Can you even begin to imagine how popular I was for a long time after that little lot?
No rats have been harmed in the making of this blog post..... yet!