Down There

Hhhmm...can't believe I'm going to write a post about things...you know...down there! Look away now if you can't deal with it! Actually, it isn't graphic and most of it centres around my toilet humour affliction! I cant help it....I've always found all things "rest room" related hilarious; Other Half really struggled with it at first but he now he just indulges me! Small Child is already inheriting the trait - she laughs when she passes wind, wants to inspect her poo when she's finished and frequently uses the names given to her bits in public...loudly and quite often in a very descriptive manner and sometimes, joy of joys, even in relation to mine!

I had the annual trip to the doctors this morning for a "women's service and MOT"! (Notice if you will that I neglected to mention how many miles the service was for!). Why is it that even though I've done it a million times before and have now experienced the one thing where you lose every last shred of your dignity, childbirth, I still HATE it? You can never get used to "hop up on the couch" and "just lay back and relax". Relax?? You try relaxing whilst someone is poking around your nether regions and trying to make nonchalant conversation so that you don't notice!

It always reminds me of the story I heard about the woman who went for such an appointment and whilst waiting, had to use the ladies room. On discovering that there was no toilet paper but being ever resourceful, she fished around in her handbag for a tissue. Imagine her inability to explain when the doctor, minutes later in the course of his examination, had to remove a postage stamp from her "area"! First or second class madam?

Anyhoo..back to the smallest room! We only have one bathroom in our house and now that Small Child is toilet trained it does present some problems! Especially when Other Half went to use it last night only to find one and a half rolls of toilet paper nicely soaking up all the water! Unbeknown to me she'd placed them there, closed the lid and flushed before innocently tottering off to bed! Luckily no damage was done and when I questioned her this morning she told me that it was OK cos there was some left for me to use!

Seeing as she is officially queen bee in our house and has number one, and in this case, number two priority in everything, you will often find Other Half and I hopping about outside the bathroom, waiting for her to stop chanting nursery rhymes on the toilet and hurry up and finish! Such has been the desperation, and I haven't raised this yet, but I'm wondering how much it would cost to get a part of the garage converted into a downstairs toilet! (By the way, it does have an integral door in case you have visions of me nipping outside in P.J.'s in full view of the neighbours!) Perhaps not... Other Half has only just finished his "man cave make-over" project so I'd better keep that one to myself for a while!

Stressed?? Moi??

It was with some trepidation that I woke up to my day off this week after the way Small Child had been behaving these last few days! High lights, or perhaps that should be low lights, have included a naked tantrum on the bedroom floor (her, not me) because she didn't want a bath, being dragged to the car kicking and screaming because we'd chosen the wrong socks and me almost bursting into tears on the nursery lady after Small Child tried to hide between my legs and wiped snot on my dress in the process! I managed to hold back the tears until I got to work when Boss Man said "rough night?"... at which point the dam burst! Luckily Boss Man also happens to be my brother in law and has two young kids so it wasn't a total faux pas! 

Once I'd gotten out three verses of "I'm such bad parent", two chorus's of "Don't think I'm cut out for this" finished with a crescendo of "I have no patience anymore and it's turning me into an alcoholic", I felt marginally better. When the evening of Chinese food and red wine with Other Half had passed I felt I'd had sufficient opportunity to rant and hopefully return to a state of non-hysteria!

So today was another day, I was determined not to be beaten by a three year old and decided to go back to the positive parenting approach; I did wonder how long it would last at the point she started insisting that she was wearing her pyjama's to the beach! But... its approaching tea time and there haven't been any catastrophic melt downs yet, even after I woke her up from a ten minute sleep in the car which normally results in the sort of behaviour akin to that of children with 666 tattooed on their scalps! (I have seen them - they do exist among us!)

We had a great day at my best friends beach hut making sand castles, catching crabs (not the sort that Charlotte caught when she went to the beach in SATC!) and I felt generally quite chilled out as my BF reassured me that I was not alone in having these "I'm a crap parent" episodes. 

I guess all this begs the question.... do I open the last bottle of red that's languishing all alone in the wine rack to celebrate my day of Model Small Child or do I save it for tomorrow night in case Devil Small Child returns?   

      

Spotted....

... TG officially mourning the end of the first series of Gossip Girl!

It has been my guilty pleasure of late... yes, a 39 year old has been watching the series about Manhattan's elite teens! But I'm not the only grown woman who had it series linked on their Sky box; I know a few who have regularly tuned in. Not just to drool over the clothes, shoes, NYC location shots, beautiful people etc, but for the high drama and total bitch-fest of a scale not seen since Alexis Colby sashayed onto the set of Dynasty complete with shoulder pads and a slick of red lip gloss!

Watching Blair, Serena, Chuck and Little J go about their "too cool for school" social scene in the cutest adaptations of a school uniform I've ever seen was intriguing; but waiting for Lily and Rufus to finally get it on was a kind of exquisite nail biting torture! Oh the hotel rooms, the loft apartments, the walk in closets; not to mention the department stores, spa's, coffee shops and trendy bars...sigh!

So until 2009 when Gossip Girl graces my television again in all it's uber trendy, make believe but we can pretend it's real, glory, I guess I'll just have to be content with the Gossip Girl blog and the knowledge that scenes for the new series are being shot in Central Park as I type! xo xo That Girl

Take Five...

My five top beauty products, tried and tested! Shopping for these (and numerous others) is almost on a par with a clothing or shoe purchase!

1. Yves Saint Laurent Touche Eclat - the only under eye brightner/concealer that does actually make me look awake after an average sleepless night with Small Child.



2. Clarins UV Plus DayScreen SPF 40 - this stuff is amazing! In the 30 degree heat in Spain it stopped all shine during the day and prevented make up sliding off in the evening



3. Kiehl's Lip Balm #1 - sinks in to soften up lips in winter or summer but stays glossy - bonus!



4. A bit boring but very necessary for shoe-a-holics - Compeed Blister Gel Plasters. It means I can wear all manner of SATC heels with these on the back of my heels and without that unattractive sticking plaster overhang!



5. Nars Pressed Powder in Desert - a recent purchase and I'm hooked. It's triple milled so isn't cakey at all, doesnt make you look like you've had a fight with the baby powder but does keep shine at bay.

Having now discovered that a branch of Space NK has opened in a town close to where I live I am overjoyed! Most of the cult brands such as Kiehl's, Nars, Laura Mercier, Chantecaille etc all live under one roof along with Diptyque candles and enough beautiful things to tempt you into going crazy with your plastic! It's where I go when I just want to stand, sniff the air and feel like I'm standing in the lap of luxury!

A Future Carrie Bradshaw?

Small Child seems to be developing an eclectic fashion sense of late! My personal favorites include welly boots coupled with nothing but a pair of pants, socks worn as gloves and this very fru-fru fairy dress which reminds me of the tutu worn by Ms Bradshaw in the opening credits of SATC! I love clothes shopping for her almost as much as I do for myself and lately she seems to be more interested in taking an active part. After a recent incident with a bottle of strawberry smoothie when we were out shopping, an emergency dash to H & M for a replacement t-shirt culminated in a whole new summer holiday wardrobe for her! Cruise collection at the age of three? Although... Grazia haven't picked up on any spring summer collections that contained an H & M Hello Kitty raincoat this year so she must be more fashion forward than I give her credit for! 

Getting dressed for nursery in the mornings is often a battle against the clock and her stubborn will, so I've totally given up on cajoling her into my choice of coordinated, weather appropriate clothing. I now just verbalise some sort of excuse for her appearance to the principal who greets us at the door every morning and leave a selection of alternative garments in her bag in case they're needed, whilst also being secretly proud that she looks somewhat kooky! Maybe this is because, from the age of about fifteen onwards, I decided that it was always better to dress a bit nonconformist despite being the victim of bullying from some of the "popular" girls.  About three years after I left school I saw one of those "popular" girls whilst re-visiting the place I used to live; she was pushing a pram with not one of the "cool guys" in sight - enough said! 

Meanwhile, back in the present... before I get to my car to begin my hurried drive to work, I've often seen Captain Marvel and Dick Whittington's cat heading into nursery with their harassed mum/dad in tow so I know I don't suffer alone! 

Fashion Credits for Small Child:

Hat - Marks & Spencer

Pink Tutu - John Lewis

Socks - Hello Kitty

Wand - vintage       
  

Come the Fug On!

Oh dear blog... do I ever lose my temper behind the wheel these days? I'm not religious by the way so, if anyone is, please overlook my substitution of blog in place of God! (Actually, blogging could be my religion of choice since I seem to spend all spare time worshipping at the alter of Mac now!)  I think it's fair to say that most people do take on an alter ego behind the wheel when faced with other incompetent drivers but since going back to work two years ago and finding myself either racing to or from nursery or whizzing here there and everywhere on my day off, I have to confess it's gotten a whole lot worse! Why don't people stop driving at a snails pace when I have less than five minutes to get to work because Small Child wouldn't come down the stairs without her Dora The Explorer suitcase rammed full of lego? Why is that when Small Child says she's desperate for a wee that the woman in front of me decides to just pull up and let her passenger out whilst having an intense discussion at the same time? Meanwhile the road is now blocked and I'm gnawing on the dashboard at the thought of Small Child flooding the car seat! (I can't help it... it's my inner Monica! I'm sure there are some mums that wouldn't flinch at that but not me! )    Of course, road rage incidents with your precious little package on board, present a whole new issue with the expletives that invariably fly out when you're presented with someone who quite obviously should not have been allowed to take their test, let alone pass it!  Try not saying the F word when someone drives at you (on your side of the road) on a winding country lane to nursery when the sun is obscuring your vision! I failed miserably and then tried to disguise it as a song I was singing about ducks!  As yet, Small Child hasn't come out with my personal  favourites that rhyme with "hugger", "twit" and "rollocks" but I'm not sitting too smugly as she can store things up for weeks before actually repeating them!   

If The Shoe Fits

That's the thing with shoes....they always fit! Even when you've gained an extra 5 pounds or are just having a plain fat day; you can still go to your wardrobe and get a little piece of fashion heaven without having to ask "Does my bum looks big in this?" (By the way, to all Other Halves - the answer to that one is always No... and never hesitate before you answer!) Before I get started on what will be one of many shoe rants, take a moment if you will, to appreciate my beautiful Jimmy Choo's purchased on holiday....I haven't worn them yet as they are from the pre-fall collection (get me!!) and the weather is far too hot for these black patent beauties! But I do confess to getting them out of their box and stroking and sniffing them a few times and even the box itself is beautiful.... I could go on for hours!  First and foremost, how many pairs do I now own? Before I had Small Child, Other Half made me count them up, possibly on a mission again to point out how little wardrobe space he had left; it was 39 pairs. When Small Child came along I had a momentary fit of practical-ness and whittled them down to about 20 more sensible ones. That all changed about two years ago so when I get a spare ten minutes I will count them again and confess on line! (Do I have to include boots,flip flops etc?!?) I'm guessing it will have to include the cork wedge patent strappy sandals I got in New Look sale today for £7!!   My Shoe Hero's - Carrie Bradshaw, Imelda Marcos, Princess Poochie, my friend E and Rose, the sister of Cameron Diaz's party girl, played by Toni Collette in the movie In Her Shoes; a responsible lawyer who has needy but complex relationships and so compulsively buys shoes to relieve her frustrations. (Mind you, if Cameron Diaz was my sister I would probably have a few issues too!)   I have recently decided to braver with my shoes and stop saving so many pairs for "best" because "best" often doesn't happen! I now sometimes team my fiercer heels with sensible work clothes as there really is no point in letting them languish at the back of the wardrobe - I could get run over by a bus tomorrow... and if I do, I want to be wearing some great heels! I have to say though that the streets around my office are probably the worst I've ever encountered and are a libel suit just waiting to happen! There are bits of slab sticking out, sloping concreted curbs and all kinds of strange knobbly looking cobbled bits just where you're supposed to cross! I'm not sure if these are meant to help you as you step off into the road but they certainly don't aid my safe passage when I'm wearing my new tan leather platform bootie sandals!     p.s.  E... the picture of the Choo's is especially for you.... and yes I will leave them to you in my will! 

iTired.....

.... a term used to describe how tired I am due to too many nights playing with my new Mac Book Air! Sometimes used in conjunction with iSlummy - too much Mac Book Air equals not enough ironing, cleaning etc!

Dummy Fairy Update

The much anticipated First Night Without Dummy has come and gone... without too much ado! In fact we've now had two dummy-less sleeps and Small Child, who never ceases to amaze me, was not as bad as I thought she'd be! The event was not without ceremony, in fact I'd say it was a defining moment in my world of sometimes creative parenting! Having gone to purchase the aforementioned fish, we realised we couldn't just bring one home in a bowl straight off - its all very technical with filters, water de-chlorination etc. Not sure what was going on with the goggly eyed black fish that lived with us in our hotel room in the Soho Grand for four days then! He was in a simple but stylish round glass bowl and seemed very happy to be there, but we seem to have ended up with a purple lidded plastic tank affair that is plugged in and everything! (Sorry...you would be forgiven for thinking you've now clicked on a Fashion For Fish blog!) Anyway, back to the elaborate fairy plot.... we wrote a letter to the dummy removing winged creature of the woodland variety and asked if she could replace it with a pet fish and an electric toothbrush, an obvious choice really! Then Small Child and I went to the bottom of the garden to chant some fairy spells and spin around a lot whilst Other Half took away the letter and dummy, sprinkled some fairy dust around and placed the (empty) tank up in her room. Needless to say, even though it was a fish-free tank, Small Child was suitably impressed with all the pomp and circumstance enough to not start whining about lack of dummy until I put the light out at bedtime! She got out of bed a couple of times but with a few distracting words combined with the infamous Supernanny "back to bed" technique we avoided the kind of blood curdling screaming hysterics that I thought would be inevitable! And it made me quite nostalgic as it was yet another milestone event of disappearing babyhood! As I type this, Other Half is on a mission to the aquatic centre to hopefully purchase two fish so I think there maybe more elaborate fairy happenings chez thatgirl tonight! We decided on two seeing as the abode went from the underwater equivalent of a studio to a two bed apartment and Small Child has already chosen names....Pilchard and Stanley!

Take Five...

A list of five favourite whatevers...now where have I seen that before?!  But it helps pass the time...

Todays? Lets start with something profound and go for Signifcant Events.

1. The day I got married... the whole day, every single second!


2. The moment they bought back Small Child (then Tiny Baby!) from the Neo Natal unit & said she was all OK to stay by my bed again.


3. The point at which Other Half got down on one knee in the vaults of Veuve Clicquot champagne cellars, produced a ring and said "Marry Me!"


4. My trip of a life time to New York!


5. Knowing that there are so many more significant events to come; some good, some bad but they will happen regardless!

The Daddy Mac!

I'm suffering from a severe case of the "Hello Lover's" again! This time not over shoes... but shock-horror... technology!!  Today I have officially become a Mac Geek!  For the first time, I got what Other Half means when he says going into the Apple store is like going to his "happy place"! We went to buy this beautiful Mac Book Air.... surely you can you see how sexy-techno it is as you read this post that was created upon it's gorgeous, slim little hardware butt? You can't? Must be just me then! I've always held our i-mac and i-pod in the highest regard but since blogging I admit to becoming a bit obsessed by the whole Apple deal. Maybe it's my weakness for the next trendy concept but I'm getting hooked into the Mobile Me package and feel like it's just a slippery slope ride down to his and her i-phones! And.... if it's good enough to be in SATC the movie then its good enough for me!   We nearly didn't get the package safely home due to an evacuation of the shopping centre though; having talked to three very knowledgeable sales guys, the plastic was swiped and they sent "a runner' off to fetch the precious kit. The alarms had been going off for about five minutes prior to that but with a female voice over the loudspeaker telling us to stand by. Apparently when that changes to a male voice you really have to get the hell out! One of the Mac maestro's then proclaimed that it was now "the dude" talking so we thought we should beat a hasty retreat, feeling extremely lucky that we had managed to pull off "the plan". This trip was not an off-the-cuff one but a carefully thought out plan... we had put Grandparents on stand by two weeks ago to look after Small Child for a couple of hours so we could make an informed peaceful purchase, as opposed to a fraught one with a demanding toddler hanging off my left leg! Drama aside it was a good day with all goals achieved, another of which was Small Child getting a visit from the Dummy Fairy who swapped the now smelly pacifier for an electric toothbrush and a pet fish! But after we've gotten through tonight I feel that should be left for another post! Goodnight x  

Mamma Mia.... More More!!

Well, I'm still riding high on my Dancing Queen cloud! What a great movie! We arrived to a packed cinema, so packed in fact that they'd run out of salted popcorn! It took me at least twenty minutes to get over my sulk about that - I'd especially not eaten dinner so I could dive head first into a large bucket of the stuff. For me, half the excitement of a trip to the movies is the salted popcorn.... and the trailers! We settled in for what I thought would be a fun-filled cheese fest; movies of stage musicals always fill me with a certain amount of trepidation ever since I had to turn off Evita halfway though! It's that whole breaking into song thing that doesn't quite translate so well from stage to film! Once I'd got over the first few far bars of Meryl Streep breaking into "Money Money Money", I was totally drawn into it! I won't ruin the very uncomplicated, unrealistic plot if you haven't seen it but by the end of it I wanted to jump up and sing and dance in the aisle with platform boots and flared sequin trousers on! So I think, did the rest of the audience but you know how reserved us English can be. There was however some clapping along to the last track and cheering too which is pretty over excited stuff for a British movie audience! By the end of the movie I'd just about reconciled the idea of Pierce Brosnan singing and dancing and realised that the character of Tanya played by Christine Baranski will be me in about twenty years time! For an alternative review, click here to visit Empire, a site whom Other Half and I often look to for a film critique. I didn't look there before I went or before I wrote this so as not to be influenced!

Mamma Mia!

I'm off to the movies tonight with the girls to see Mamma Mia! Other Half categorically stated that it was definitely not his bag to see Meryl Streep break into a number of Abba songs in what was essentially a chick flick! This of course means he volunteered himself by default for baby sitting duties! Will give you the low down next time! x

Is Fashion Fickle Or The Fabric Of Life?

A quote from www.chinadaily.com for an article entitled Meet The Worlds Top Fashion Cities, no doubt prompted by Hong Kong Fashion Week which ran from 8th to 11th July:

The world of fashion remains dominated by five cities -- New York, Rome, Paris, Milan and London -- but B-list players like Sydney and Dubai are coming on strong, according to an annual survey of top fashion cities.

The list was compiled by the Global Language Monitor, a non-profit group that tracks the frequency of words and phrases in the media, on the Internet and throughout the blogosphere.

New York led the list in 2008 for the fifth consecutive year with Rome retaining the second slot, Paris third again but Milan overtaking London for the fourth position. London came fifth.

What is my point you may well ask... well there are several! First its the blogosghere part... we who blog are having a considerable amount of say on a much favoured topic! I have only just started to scratch the surface of a cyber world full of very talented fashion bloggers and am amazed at what I see. We may not work for top notch magazines or be stylists to the uber rich and famous but, from those who are actually making a living out of it, to those who chat for fun about a subject very dear to their heart, it would seem our opinions may have some influence!  (I set up a Google alert for fashion blogs and the first one that came up was the one quoted above.)

I used to think that worshipping at the alter of fashion might be considered by some to be a bit fickle but anyone who ever watched the scene from the Devil Wears Prada, where Meryl Streep's Miranda Priestley completely floors Anne Hathaway's Andy with an explanation of just how she "came to be wearing that shade of cerulean blue" will know exactly what I'm talking about. If you haven't seen it, I'm not going to explain - it's one of those things that you have to see to appreciate! 

And finally.... we all wear clothes (thank goodness!), some wear them with more style, individuality or panache than others and some wear them so badly it makes you want to hold up a mirror, wave a Trinny and Susannah book under their nose and shout "What were you thinking?!?" I myself have looked back over past (and some far too recent) photos and wondered why I appear to have got dressed in the dark! Perhaps it's all down to fashion Yin and Yang - you have to balance those "I look pretty good moments" with the "Oh my god I'm gonna be on Go Fug yourself.com " times! (If you haven't seen it please click the link!!)   If you can hang art on the walls, why not be practical too and wear it? 

p.s.  For those who care; other fashion rated cities were:  Tokyo at number 10 (Gwen Stefani's L.A.M.B. label, we salute you!). Santiago in Chile is number 17 with Mumbai and New Delhi at 22 and 24 respectively.  I feel very lucky to have so far visited New York, London and Paris... if I can add Milan and Rome before I die then I will have achieved my all time top five!  

BBQ's And Bling For Beginners

Sunday saw the annual summer BBQ creep around again at Small Child's nursery. It's a great family party to which you can even bring grandparents - even those that might not approve of sending children to nursery! 
Anyway, after much scowling at passing black clouds, hurried packing of every type of weather gear and making sure we put the half bottle of champagne in the cooler, we set off! We thought a half bottle would be best as it might be considered inappropriate for one parent, in this case Other Half as it was my turn to drive, to be tipsy whilst in control of Small Child. I use the term "control" loosely as Small Child definitely seems to have developed severe authority issues of late! Anyhoo, back to the BBQ, as a parent I am beginning to cotton on that this type of event is great for spotting the signs of Competitive Family Syndrome (CFS) . Known symptoms of CFS include exhibiting one or more of the following attributes: Producing a child with tousled ringlets, one or both parents must rate highly on the attractiveness scale, your child(ren) are clothed in White Company, Boden or at the very least, quirky but cool mis-matched looks from GAP, you are a sun tanned mummy who is just the right shade of burnished gold and if you drive a black 4 X 4 then that really helps! So it was all down to CFS that I spent ten minutes deciding if I should I wear my gladiator sandals with skinny jeans and brave the questionable cloud formations or play it safe and go with the perma-trend tan colour uggs? Having tried on the beautiful (and very comfortable) glads and adjusted the jean length just enough to show them off, there wasn't really any choice in the matter! Any shoe obsessed woman will know that style ALWAYS wins over practicality. Shoe dilemma's apart, a great time was had by all...especially Small Child. She exhausted herself after several hectic encounters with the bouncy castle, a sausage cramming fest, fast and furious playground scooter rally racing finished off with a quick ice cream fix. There were wine quaffing parents languishing on blankets, no doubt numbing the pain of knowing that they would soon be trying to pacify their over tired little darlings who had consumed one too many neon pink iced fairy cakes. One parent in particular had already downed three quarters of plastic beaker of sauvignon blanc within ten minutes of setting up the gazebo! And to top it all there was a real life, living and breathing WAG attending the festivities! (For those who don't read Grazia, Hello or OK magazine - this is the term given to Wives And Girlfriends of footballers - yes really!). As their child attends nursery, her husband who plays for a local city team, had volunteered to be in goal for the BBQ penalty shoot out - imagine a lot of alcohol fuelled, red faced, dads buoyed up by the bravado of it all wanting to "get one in the net" and you can just about picture the scene! She didn't look like your atypical WAG; not an orange tan, bling-tastic It bag or four carat diamond in sight! She was well dressed, smiley and spent most of her time pacifying her toddler - but I did spot the Gucci nappy bag at twenty paces!!

The road (back) to enlightenment...

... is one paved with many crucial decisions! I am talking about the enlightenment of the hair variety, specifically, my decision to return to a state of blondness that I thought I'd abandoned for good last winter. My friend E once said that I change my hair more often than I change my handbags - think she was exaggerating slightly as I generally change my handbag daily! But she does have a point... I'm one of those people who strives to get her hair to that crucial length or shade and then goes for something completely different! Naturally within one month of doing that I then start planning how to get it back to it's original state as I miss putting it up/going curly/being a blond/straightening it etc. Having left my job in October I decided that drastic change of the hair variety was called for and took my admittedly, somewhat scraggy, long (dark) blond hair off for an overhaul. The chestnut brown short bob that I came out with looked sleek and healthy and only slightly on the Victoria Beckham "POB" side of things! For a while I liked catching sight of my reflection and being surprised that the dark haired woman staring back was actually me. But once Christmas was over I started thinking about spring and the blond urges started to creep in when blow drying my hair in the mornings. I couldn't leave it to dry on it's own and let the curls take over anymore either because it was too short and ended up looking less like surf induced tousle and more mad granny caught in a rain shower! So after two or three conversations with my stylist about going lighter, his apparent reluctance to let me hit the bleach and me then finding a hairdresser who did oblige, I am now a growing-out-my-bob happy shade of mid to dark blond. The aim is that by the time I hit fab 40 next year it will be the appropriate style for an on trend, busy working, sometimes yummy but occasionally slummy, mummy! With my classic but versatile style befitting of a "woman my age" I can at least look back and laugh at past efforts.... High lights (pardon the pun) included: cropped bleach blond in the style of Papa Don't Preach Madonna that made my dog growl at me, the short at the sides spiky on top popular 80's do, the orange permed bob in the style of lost sheep on acid and long curly blond ringlets circa Kylie Minogue I Should Be So Lucky era. I guess I'm lucky to still have hair at all after that!

Rain Stops Play

How not to spend your day off  -  trailing around in what can only be described as a a 24 hour monsoon with Small Child visiting relatives, then the supermarket, closely followed by a quick trip to the edge of insanity! The English weather is a joy to behold. Everyone moans the minute we have some rain and they start saying what a wash out the summer is blah blah blah... actually my mother said that on this particular rainy day but more on that later!  But I have to say I quite like my country's ability to change it's mind in an instant and surprise us unsuspecting folk as we go about our business. In my new office with it's double fronted windows to the world, I've learnt to appreciate the sudden changes the weather can inflict. Like the lady today who had to pull over her convertible in a rain shower and hastily put the roof up whilst patting down her hair for fear that it may now not be quite so straight! And the fact that I can walk from my car that is parked one road back from the beach bathed in sunshine, to my office one road on where it's just begun to rain!  But back to yesterday....

I took Small Child to see my cousin and her four month old. "Cousin It" as she's affectionately known, is more like my younger ditsy sister - I always go to her for an injection of nostalgia and girly stuff!  I left my umbrella outside her house only to come out later and find it had blown away into the hedge and was now upside down collecting water faster than a reservoir! Small Child was fine as she had on full "Hello Kitty" rain wear attire, complete with wellies and ladybird umbrella! Seeing as her coat came with a hood I asked to borrow the very fashion forward red and black spotted accessory but she flatly refused. Cue drenching No. 1.  We then went with grandma to the shops for a bit of retail therapy and caffeine (and aforementioned moaning about lack of summer!). Small Child, who, after insisting on riding in the trolley, proceeded to sit on the spiky end of a pineapple and  wailed like a banshee all round the store until we left. Drenching No. 2 took place on the way back to the car as Grandma ensured that the hollering red faced creature didn't get anymore distressed by getting wet. By this time I had already decided that I was most definitely going to finish off the half bottle of red wine later that evening... especially as Other Half was away on business! The high point of my day was returning home and getting all my neighbours involved a game of Hunt The Parcel - In The Rain! I had a card through the door saying that my delivery of latest obsession French Connection sandals (reduced in the sale no less!), and bag, had been "left behind the rear gate". Except they forgot to mention whose rear gate and all four houses became involved! It was the local policeman who lives at the end of our road who thought to look over the neighbours fence and spotted my soggy parcel definitely "behind a rear gate" but also hidden by a shrub!  All's well that ends well - Small Child got over the unfortunate pineapple incident, I got my new sandals and this morning when I woke up, the sun was shining again!  Plus, I felt proud that yesterday's experiment of wearing wedge heeled sandals high enough to keep your feet out of puddles and therefore dry, had actually worked!      

Brave New World!

Yay!! I've gone global!! I've been read in Lisbon and L.A.! This is addicitve!

Does It Mean You're Getting Older When.....

..... a pillow crease that you got on your face doesn't fade until after lunchtime?! I made a sleepy grab for my freebie airline issue eye mask this morning when I was woken at 5.30 by the light creeping in under the black out blind. When I crawled into the bathroom at 6.45 (ish) I spotted the crease down the left side of my face that had been caused by the elastic strap of the cheap but effective mask!  Oh well, I thought, it'll be gone by time I apply one of the magic creams from my bathroom cabinet, if not, definitely by the time I leave the house. Having gone to the bathroom at work and looked in the mirror, I was somewhat dismayed to see the offending scar-like manifestation still there at midday!  Guess the spring back collagen factor is somewhat lacking these days then! Someone in my office who shall remain nameless but nineteen, also has this aging effect on me occasionally. He was talking the other day about dressing up for a party whose theme was cartoon characters of childhood memories... the fact that he choose Buzz Lightyear almost made me spray my coffee in a most unattractive way, straight across the desk!  He also says "Oh my days" a lot whatever that means!    "My days" generally consist of deflecting Small Child's next Wobbly, Working, Washing, Wine and, here and there, a bit of self indulgent Writing! Actually when you put it like that I think I prefer 39 to 19 any day.... the only W i'd swap with him is the Wrinkles!   Note to self: I've mentioned eye masks in two posts now... perhaps I should by a nice slinky silk one from figleaves.com in order to try and look more like Holly Golightly as opposed to a jet lagged traveller on Quantas!

Evolution

I believe change is good. When I started this blog I didn't have a clue what direction it would take, I just knew that a significant event such as becoming forty made me want to get off my butt and write. Especially as it's something I had been promising myself I would do for the last five years but I wasn't sure how it would take shape. I know that getting a few gold stars in my school essay book and passing English exams with flying colours does not a budding novelist make! So blogging seemed like the ideal thing but where the hell do you start? The elements I wanted were the bits of me that I like; being a wife and mother to the two most important people in the world, loving my life, having a huge fashion and subsequent shopping addiction and being able to generally draw out the lighter side of life's events that might otherwise get you down! So I started thinking I should not give too much away, definitely be anonymous and go for the whole yummy mummy, fashion, gossipy, Carrie Bradshaw approach. It felt too fake and since I live in a village and have only visited NYC once, it would end up being more Cavorting In The Country than Sex In the City! But you have to start and get it down on paper (or in this case, screen) to see where you can go. So before your very eyes I will continue to evolve as it's all very much trial and error; some days I want to gush about the nitty gritty stuff that real life is made of and others I just want to go on about those gorgeous heels I saw in In Style magazine and very handy shift dress that really hides my bumpy bits so well.  Maybe I'll stop adding pictures to all my posts and maybe some will just be a bit shorter - who knows? Some may be a quick insight to something trivial and some might be a bit more in depth. But whatever form they take, it sometimes feels a bit scary as you expose all the stuff in your head and you wonder if people will judge you in any number of wrong ways. What I do know is that I'm old enough not too care too much and understand that what some people like, others won't and so be it! On that note I'm off to bed as a common thread seems to be me, up late, fitting this in at the end of a busy day as it's becoming important to me.... now that has to be good!        

The Woman Who Fell To Earth...

....with a bump!  I am officially back from my cocoon of holiday loveliness and although the sun has given me a golden glow, it's amazing how fast it has faded with two days back in reality! We had a great week away just the three of us....spending each day going from pool to the next meal and back to pool again, without having to worry about anything else in between. The apartment owned by Future Wife of Brother In Law was perfect and had everything we needed from nesting house martin's on the balcony that kept Small Child and myself captivated, to the cars parked at the marina in Marbella that made Other Half drool! Well.. wouldn't you like a pearlised orange Lamborghini with the number plate "PHATT" or perhaps a Bentley Azure, parked outside Lanvin no less, with the letters "BLING" on it's arse? At this point I have to admit that I just asked him exactly what those cars were as all I remember were the colours! In my defense I can say I was a bit distracted by two things at the marina; one being the fierce heat of the sun that I felt for sure was searing the rose-white tinted skin of Small Child despite the fact that she was doused in SPF 50. The other was the abundance of designer shops that not only beckoned you into their air conditioned cool interiors, but also contained one or two items that I'd just seen in Grazia magazine earlier that day!! I do confess to buying a pair of black patent leather Mary Jane style Jimmy Choo's with a heel that is cool enough, without being too scary, to wear to work in the autumn! If I am to complete The Holy Trinity of Louboutin's, Choo's and (later my precious) Manolo's, at least one of them has to be practical enough to wear on a weekly basis!  Despite my sworn testimony as a parent to never keep my child out after 8.00pm, we did eat out one night at a great restaurant called Picasso's and it all went according to plan. We got a table at about 6.00 and Small Child not only behaved very well but also kept the table next to us entertained. Or perhaps it was the fact that after two Mojito's and some red wine, we were a lot more relaxed and just got on with it rather than worrying what she might do next.  In general a great holiday time was had by all and to sum up... Small Child ate unfeasible amounts of spaghetti bolagnaise, garlic bread & chocolate ice cream and we played tag team reading in the sun, alternated with splashing about like loonies in a pool all to ourselves! As for the reality bit.... no one ever wants to go back to work but there is something to be said for sleeping in your own bed, cooking in your own kitchen, saying hello to your wardrobe and taking a photo of your new shoes to send to your friends!