Have you ever committed that ultimate faux pas and asked someone if they where pregnant only to have a scolding "NO" spat in your face? Or worse... just gone up to them, patted their tummy whilst winking and nodding in a knowing fashion? Obviously this one is best reserved for those you know and not a recommended congratulatory tactic for passing strangers! Worse still..... has anyone ever asked you if you where with child when actually you are not?
Well... this one happened to me on Saturday at Other Sister In Law's 30th birthday lunch! Having shared a pizza covered in chilli's, drank two glasses of red wine and then guzzled a Tia Maria coffee, I was asked this mother of all bloopers by OSIL's dad as we were leaving. In order to preserve my sanity and few remaining shreds of dignity, for the rest of the day I put it down to last seasons cocoon shaped dress that I was wearing.... I'm guessing that's why its last seasons shape!
But later on.... after some more wine over dinner at Cousin It's house I got to thinking. Was it the fashionable shape that deceived him or did he catch sight of the unrestrained muffin top that was lurking beneath, perhaps revealed by a gust of wind that wrapped the dress in closer? Goddamn wind! And goddamn me for not wearing Bridget pants!
Whatever the reason behind it, there was a pregnant pause (sorry) before MM pipes up "Ooh I wish.... if only.... chance would be a fine thing....blah blah blah...". To which me and my Bro (bless him), jointly responded "Pipe down woman.... you've already got four bloody grandchildren.. how many more do you want?".
Low fat muffin anyone?
Posts
13 comments:
Did he at least have the good grace to be embarassed by his mistake? I was asked the same question once by an acquaintance, only for me to reply that the baby had been born 4 weeks earlier. It's only celebrity mum's who 'spring' back into shape after delivering a 9lb 7oz baby.
He did to be fair! But I'm not sure who was more embarassed tho...possibly me! You're right... we can't all be Nicole Kidman. But I have no excuse with Small Child being 3 and all!
Never had or done that, but I did once mistake a woman for a man. That wasn't pretty - and neither was . . . no no I can't say it.
BTW, was just thinking of you as I'm just going to sit down with a cup of tea and my new issue of Grazia . . .
Cool! The Grazia legend of Thatgirl39 spreads the length and breadth of the country! (kind of!) I should be on commission....GRAZIA TEAM..if you're reading this???!!
I've been on the receiving end of that. It's always hard to restrain the urge to just kick the person in the shins. I don't think I've ever had the pleasure of blaming it on my dress shape, but yeah, I guess my abs and muffin top leave much to be desired.
Poor you. When I was working as a reporter for a local paper I once asked a woman what her grand-daughter's name was. It didn't go down well with the rather mature for her age mum.
I didn't lose my collective baby weight till my youngest was 10, so don't fret !!!
I did but the SATC dvd yest but I don't get to have the keyring (poor poor auntie :(
My muffin top is more of a gateaux gut these days. I've heeard, it's par of the course to put on 5lbs for every year you live in the USa, so I better switch to those low fat muffins soon!
When at 7 months preggers with my secondborn I visited England, my friends brother-in-law said (after we'd eaten lunch and spent at least 2 hours in each other's company) "Oh you're pregnant are you? I just thought you'd gotten fat on American food!" naturally, I wanted to punch him!
Ha ha I have never been mistaken for being pregnanthave never asked someone who isn't if they are. I hope neither happen.
The only reason I was always the last to congratulate those genuinely expecting, while at work, was my pathological terror of doing what you describe. Makes me shudder! (Spare a thought for the poor bloke in all this! Actually, don't - they can always just keep schtum, like I did).
Mom/Mum: "gateaux gut", hilarious!
I once got sucked into a collective comment to a young mother about her being pregnant. I think I knew at the back of my mind that she had actually recently given birth, so was horrified at the impending embarrassment. I'm ashamed to admit that after the comment was uttered, and the poor woman replied "I'm not pregnant", I jumped in with, "No, I didn't think you looked pregnant." Terrible eh?
Oh poor you! Definitely the outfit - you looked great when I saw you last. Just had a "Thatgirl" catch up fest - been offline for a month due to travelling, moving house and starting back at work. Loving the blog still! X
Post a Comment