Thursday, 11 September 2008

Two Heads Are Better Than One


Having reached my late thirties and a state of acceptance about age, appearance and overall package, apart from having that mental list of "could do betters", I would have said that I was ready to face 40 head on. Well I was until yesterday!

Whilst pregnant with Small Child a little brown mark appeared on the side of my nose near my eye. Having waited patiently for nine months for it to disappear, presuming that it was another of those weird with-child side effects, I pointed my new friend out to the practice nurse and asked what it was. Skin tag was the answer and she suggested that I remove it with some sterilized tweezers!  How odd I thought, I had no idea that medically approved self mutilation was alive and well in our village!  Having done this (and I wouldn't recommend it), it became fairly inconspicuous until recently. First of all Small Child asked what was that thing on my face, followed by a more tactful version of the same question from Other Half. Closer inspection (yes.. definitely bigger and now bleeding a couple of times), made me think I should get my arse to the doctor!

One appointment and thorough full body inspection by the dermatologist yesterday bought the welcome news that it wasn't malignant but this was delivered with a nougat of info that did nothing to preserve my "I'm OK with getting older" mantra! 
They think it's this thing that I can't pronounce but I'm sure he used the word sub-aquatic something or other! He'll be telling me I'll be forming bloody gills next! But the best part is they're usually only found on people aged sixty plus! Excellent - I'm not even forty yet and have been written off as prematurely aging old bag whose growing a new head! They are going to surgically remove it (thankfully!) and then examine it as it's apparently "unusual" on someone my age!  I felt like Ross in Friends when he gets that thing on his butt that Phoebe's herbalist takes off by accident with his watch strap! Or maybe it's Chandlers Nubbin! 

By the way, I was just glad that the doctor was no McDreamy; the full body inspection part totally threw me off - I wasn't even wearing good undies! Oh well.... I'm off to cut two eye holes in a brown paper bag until my friend and I part company!   

10 comments:

notSupermum said...

Well, if it's any consolation I had one of those thingys on my eyelid for years, and it was in a reallt awkward place too. It finally fell off this summer and for days afterwards I kept touching the place where it had been just to check it hadn't grown back.

Mom/Mum said...

That was a very funny post. What is it with such alien beings appearing on our faces when we reach a 'certain age'? Personally, am saving up for laser hair removal to chop down the forest that appears to be taking root on my chin!

auntiegwen said...

it's not easy, is it girls ?

that girl ? said...

Me (and my friend) are nodding vigorously in agreement!

valley girl said...

Oh dear it reminds me of that Richard E Grant film - how to A Head in Advertising.....

that girl ? said...

Exactly! And check out my Google adsense - its got a nice Mole Removal ad today - bless em!

Jenni said...

Well, if it's any consolation, any time I would complain about more moles, or harder time loosing weight, or some such thing, I would get the "That's what happens when you turn thirty." statement. It started when I was like 28. Now I am thirty and I am fighting back.

Tara@From Dawn Till Rusk said...

Well at least it didn't start talking to you. Or grow so large overnight that it consumed your head. Or is that one of my nightmares? Still at least with it removed you are perfect again . . .

mrsbear said...

That's awful. I'm dreading going to the dermatologist. I have a freakish mole that grows on the very back of my head, in an awkward place that makes it pretty uncomfortable when I get a haircut since they comb the heck out of it. I keep thinking I should get it removed, but I've heard stories about the mole slicing and I'm definitely not looking forward to it.

My husband gets those little skin tag thingies and he's 35, I'll have to break it to him that he a premature geriatric. I'm sure he'll appreciate it.

workthatwardrobe said...

How timely - I have developed a little alien underneath my left eye.
And on Monday I take my daughter to hospital to get a mole and a skin tag removed.
She is only 11.