Saturday, 2 August 2008

Parlez Vous Bulgarian?

Have you ever pretended not to be from the country you're actually from? I have and I was reminded why whilst running the gauntlet from work to nursery yesterday! In front of me was a Hummer limousine (isn't that a contradiction in terms?) with two boys hanging out the back window, can of beer in hand, shouting obscenities at passing cars! I'm guessing that this was the prelude to the evening part of a stag party as it was only 5.00pm but they didn't look old enough to be drinking yet alone getting married! As I passed by whilst the harassed driver pulled over to reprimand them before shoving their heads back through the window, I was tempted to ask if their mothers knew where they were but for obvious reasons, thought better of it!

English stag and hen parties, especially those held abroad, are renowned for turning even the most mild mannered people into gutter barfing, body part exposing, dog in heat, beer monsters.... and I should know because I've been on a few in my time! We Brits tend to behave the same way whilst celebrating pre-nuptials over here, it just looks a bit more in your face when lit by the glare of summer sunshine and set against the back drop of families enjoying an early supper in a beach side restaurant! 

Why we also feel the need to ditch our normal attire in favour of that tee shirt with the name of the place we're holidaying in emblazoned across it in neon pink and gold glitter, I'm still struggling to understand. We then waltz into the nearest bar, order 'alf a lager an' lime, get stroppy when the bartender doesn't understand and start muttering away to the fellow English couple we HAVE to spend our entire holiday with about "bloody foreigners"!  I would like to say I plucked this scenario out of my head but unfortunately it's something I've witnessed on more than one occasion!  
I admit I don't speak any other language but do at least try the to master some basics of the country that I'm visiting. I've also been known not to utter a single word if I'm behind stroppy lager drinker for fear of being tarred with the same brush!

So as not to be accused of blatant generalisation, I would like to finish with the following disclaimer:
The "We Brits" does not apply to all; there are those that maintain a sense of style on vacation, some are not afraid to say a few phrases and have their pronunciation questioned and stags/hens do celebrate whilst managing to keep all their clothes on and food down, I should know because I've been on a few of those too!                


Tara@From Dawn Till Rusk said...

I think you'll find the boys were going to a prom - that latest trend America has given us. While reading your post (and I'm SO with you on the why go abroad if you're going to moan about the locals thing. Just go to Blackpool and shut up) anyway it's about 9pm and hubby and I have just watched about 25 teenagers drunkenly make their way from someone's house walking into town all dolled up for a night out and one girl stopped and peed behind a bush. A bush right in front of where hubby and I are watching! Pulled her leopard-print dress up, dropped her knickers, put her £2 handbag from New Look down and peed! I'm still in shock.

that girl ? said...

Tara.... you are a girl after my own heart!! I am sitting here laughing at the image you have conjured up! I didn't think about the whole prom connection.. perhaps because it is not until next September that my parental body clock will be set to the whole school time table thing when Small Child starts! (am still in denial about that one by the way!) When you pee behind bushes you only deserve £2 handbags! Its only when you get to our stage in life that you can even think about owning one that costs the same as the weekly food shop! x p.s Other Half is out on Brother In Law's stag do (part two) tonight... a very subdued affair involving a carb based meal of pizza. Such is life when you have kids!!